10.15.2007

Who I Am


Fountains
Originally uploaded by lpdesigns
I took that picture yesterday. I had to mail a letter, a survey from a class I took. It was fairly nice and it didn't matter that the Post Office was closed. The lobby where you can deposit letters was open.

I took the camera with me. A few days ago I posted that I was fighting my desire to get into photography. I do this because I think I'm getting into too many different things. I need to focus, right? I got an encouraging comment on that post so I decided to stop fighting it. It was only stressing me out.

I snapped quite a few pics. I may upload more to Flickr over the coming days. I actually smiled when I got one capture. The leaves are changing, this shot was really nice, to me. Of course, I'm a complete amateur. But I'm loving it.

I walked up to the library, sans camera, I wanted the trip to be short, and got a book on digital photography. I want to know the basics before I consider taking a class.

I also got and SAT prep book. It's a really good one, I'm devouring it. Yes, it's been years since I graduated high school. (I'm 21.) But I long since thought that a huge block in my pursuing any kind of further education was the fact that I never took that test. I had ALL KINDS of misconceptions, so it's probably really good I didn't take it when I was 18.

I'm realizing that I have to do (not missing a word there), I can't just thinking about doing. Sometimes you have to help things get better. It's scaring the heck out of me. What if I mess up? I'm getting less afraid in small ways. I need to get out of this rut I"m in, that I've been in for the last three years. I'm not fully ready. But is there such a thing as a perfect time?

10.13.2007

Blurble 10.13


Uninterested
Originally uploaded by lpdesigns
I have no idea for a title today, sorry. You can read other blurble posts, too. When my thoughts are too scattered to harness into a coherent post, I blurble. :P

I took that picture of my cat yesterday. She was sitting one of the windows and I thought it was really cool how the sun made her look like she was glowing. She wasn't too happy with me all in her face, and I guess the camera didn't smell too interesting. Shortly after I took this shot, she left the window. She's not a very obliging subject at times. But she's cute.

Still a little frustrated. Such a muddle, I'm in. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. Physically, I'm fine. I just think myself into such problems, it's ridiculous.

It's cold, now. It's October so it should be, but I was kinda liking the whole 80-degree-fall thing. Gotta break out long-sleeved stuff. I realize around this time that I have a lot of ugly clothes.

My stereo is dying a slow, ornery death. I'm very sad. Very sad.

10.10.2007

Explain

Why is what I want usually not what I do? I wanted to make something for my shop, something new to list. Instead I watched Deal or No Deal, a show I mildly hate. There is still time for me to work on something. But that's an hour I lost. I could've gone upstairs and gotten something to work on. But I didn't want to go all the way upstairs. I don't get it. I don't get it.

I also realize that eventually I will run out of one word titles for my posts. Maybe I'll start using words from other languages. :P

10.09.2007

LSD- later same day- see below

I don't feel that way anymore.

I was standing at the sink, washing collard greens for dinner (which was scrumptious by the way) when I heard clear as a bell, "Never Give Up!". I could be going crazy, with all the stress I've put on myself, I'm not ruling it out. But I realize at that moment that this was probably the first time I didn't contemplate shutting down my shop. I was frustrated and a little depressed, which I'd been before. But this time I wanted desperately to know how to make it better.

That made me smile a little. I won't give up. I don't think I can.

No Such Thing

I just want to cry right now.
I'm frustrated.