Online tag- Seven random things about me

I've been tagged by AngelicQuirk. I'm now to share 7 random things about myself and then tag 7 other people. Let's see:

1. I've only moved once. I was 7. It was right around Christmas, too.

2. I love to write. I feel I do it better than I talk in that it's more organized. I write short stories, poems- usually out of necessity, journal, blog and have a few book ideas. I'm not sharing those with anyone yet.

3. I skipped second grade. That was scary even though I was still technically in the same class. As a result...

4. I taught myself to write cursive. I would have learned in second grade but instead went straight to having to copy paragraphs in cursive. The teacher was patient with me, but I didn't tell my parents I didn't know how to write cursive because I thought they'd make me go back to second. I make my capital I's reverse of the way 'they' say you should.

5. I volunteered in a bilingual, Spanish/English first-grade classroom. It was kind of extra credit for my college class, that the professor knew nothing about. I loved it.

6. I could eat Smartfood popcorn every day. 'Nough said.

7. One of my ears is slightly higher that the other. All glasses sit a little crooked on my face. *snerk*

Now for those to be tagged:
Here in this diary, Pamela Michelle,Blackstar, Late Fragments, Jenna Lou, The (Occassionally) Daily Sprout, and My name is Laura.

Merry

Merry Christmas! :D

Today was a good day. A very good day. It's not over yet, I know. I wasn't even sure I was going to blog today. But I had some time between making mac and cheese and baking rolls so I thought I'd post a little something.

I'm feeling an overwhelming urge to write about everything. It's good. I'd been suffering, really writer's block is NO fun, for a while. I still have some projects that are unfinished. But I want/need to write about me, my thoughts, try to work through things on paper that don't make sense in my mind.

I do love Christmas, the actual day. All the build-up is a little stressful. But the actual day is very nice.

I've been tagged to post 7 random facts about myself. I'll do that tomorrow, I didn't feel it fit for today. I'm going to go find a pen and some paper and write. Maybe I'll share what I come up with. :P

Happy

I am happy. Woke up to a sale. Who'd a-thunk it? That's a great Christmas present. Yay!

It doesn't look like Bro1's gift is going to get here in time. Freaky people. I have no idea what to do. Well, I have an idea. Maybe I have time. IT CAME! Thank God, seriously. I'm not sure if an angel dropped it off or what. I sure didn't hear the USPS truck. Haha!

Uh, guess that's it. It's almost Christmas. I have gifts to wrap (we do all our giving on the 25th), cookies to bake...maybe, candy canes to munch. Haha.

Is 'good turmoil' an oxymoron? Just curious.

I shall end this short, light-hearted post now and attempt to finish the myriad of tasks ahead. Good luck to me!

Lookin' at you

Say hello
Originally uploaded by lpdesigns

I got through the stuff in the previous post. It still has me reeling. It may always because it's just so unbelievable. It's good, though. I'm just not used to any of this.

I sorta finished Christmas shopping today. I didn't really find the gift I wanted for Bro2 so I had to substitute with a bunch of smaller things. His birthday is next month so I'll see if I can find it then. Still hopin' Bro1's present gets here in time.

I don't think I'm gonna list anything between now and maybe Dec. 26th. I don't think it's worth it and I'm getting too busy with Christmas stuff to do it. It doesn't really take that much to relist. But I'm gonna hold off. I may hold off until '08. Yeah, that sounds really nice. *ponders*

Post Picture: Me in the reflection of a Christmas bulb decoration thing. It's my job to decorate this time of year. Actually I'm almost always the one to decorate. Heck, I decorated for my own graduation party. Ha!

Anyway, I was getting tired and started making faces at myself in the reflection. Bro2 thought this was hilarious. I grabbed the camera and snapped a few. This one looks the best.

Breathe 12.20

Again with the dated title. Heh. I'm not sure if that's the result of a lack of creativity or a semi-clever way to describe the mood succinctly and find certain significant moments later.

I miss someone. A lot. I have for several months...years. The person who hurt me worst in my life is now the person I would give almost anything to spend an hour with. I had to forgive. Then we found each other. But I wasn't expecting this, to think about this someone every hour. Wonder. Hope. Long.

I probably shouldn't get this emotionally involved. But I don't know how not to be. I'm probably over-complicating this. I don't think I should tell the person. I don't think I can. I'll think of something to say...maybe.

This makes it extremely hard to focus, these intense feelings. Creating is near impossible. The new year's comin' and my stock will probably be cut back. I'd like to have other things to fill in. But it's hard. I have ideas. But I can't focus. I wonder and think, think, think.

Maybe it's a mistake to get personal here, on the interwebs. I'm confused, though. Perplexed. I thought I understood, that I'd figured it out. But I haven't.

Writing used to help when I would keep it all inside. But now the relief is short-lived. All too soon I'm caught up again, smothered with thoughts and feelings that seem too adult, too grown-up for little me. It's not physical. It never was. But it's deep for me, connected to so much of who I am, who I was.

I've never been this way, felt like this. Not for this long. I always appeared sure, though perhaps guarded. I didn't want to get hurt again. I never thought I'd get this undone.

It's scary; I can't believe so much of me wants to trust this person again. We were children, then. Neither of us were really to blame for what happened. There was fear. Propriety. Rules. Boundaries we knew nothing about, being so young.

It's a little lonely; I don't know who to trust with this, but I feel I must share or I'll be swallowed alive. I don't know what The One I Miss remembers about me. There's so much else I want, long, to know. But I'm too afraid to ask.

It's exhilarating, too, and a little freeing. I'm discovering pieces of my personality that I'd shut off for years. I'm remembering things I thought I'd forgotten. I'm dealing with nouns (persons, places and things) that hurt me badly. And it leaves me breathless.

Yet breathe I must. I'm no longer in the darkness I was in for so long. I want to live. I want to understand. I want to talk, laugh, play. I'm trying to go with it. I don't think I'll ever get over it. Maybe I'll get along with it, figure out how to co-exist.

This is long but it needed to be said, told, written. It is the truth, a departure from the posts I normally write. I can only hope...

Finding me 12.18

Hehe, so I've run all my reusable post titles, Blurble, Now, and Finding Me, back to back. That was unintentional. I think I'm really into tracking myself, my thoughts.

I've been going through a huge emotional change since September. Consequently, I've been reading my journal and this blog over and over. Really, I'm amazed at how different I am. I was beginning to think it wasn't that significant but I read my writings from 2003-2007. (It was all in one book.) I was wrong. I don't know how I made it through that time. More importantly, I don't know how my family made it through that time having to live with me.

I'm getting better. It's a process, I'm learning to accept that. I'm learning to enjoy the journey, not purely be fixed on the finish line.

I also really like the sneakiness of Christmas shopping. Hehe. I'm smirking to myself even though the little gift I just bought was not that expensive. The recipient will like it. Hehe.

Post Picture: A picture of the ceiling at a nearby church. I guess I chose this because...things are looking up. :P

Now 12.17

I have a new record month for sales. Last December I got 4, 3 of them were supplies. This December I've had 5, all handmade things. I'm so happy. :) If I get two more I'll have sold twice as much this year to last year. Numbers-wise it's kinda low, but it's a good statistic.

I did finally finish a set of coasters. However, I like them so much, I might keep them.

My dad really wants an D-SLR. This is great because I could use it. Haha. But, we'll have to see.

It snowed again. I'm a little over snow, now. I'd like 60 degree weather back. (I realize to some this is cold. Wimps. :P)

I may have gotten myself hired at a temp agency. I'm not sure, because I'm never sure. I've gotten company literature at the end of interviews before but I didn't actually get the job. I'll have to see. I'm not sure how I feel about this. Trying to view it as a means to an end.

Blurble 12.15

snow
Originally uploaded by lpdesigns

Blogging while sleeping can be hazardous. I'm not fully asleep yet, but I'm close.

I went up the Plattsburgh on Friday with my dad. My cousin was graduating from college. It was freezing but it was nice. I hadn't spent that much time with just my dad in a long time.

Uh, hmm, totally lost where I was gonna go with this. I still haven't done any Christmas shopping. I'm bad...yeah. Hehe.

Post Picture: Looking out of dining room window earlier this week. My mom and I were actually out while it was snowing. But I'm not about to tell you why. :P

Seller Tips- The List

I'm an indie-preneur, a micro-business owner constantly looking for ways to promote my work. I started this column, Seller Tips, to help me keep track of my findings and to pass them on to you.

The Tip List:


Blog Your Passion
_1.27.10
Get Inspired
_1.2.10
Handmadeology- Google Analytics
_4.29.09
Biz Ladies '09- Fresh from the Oven
_4.01.09
Think Bakery
_3.04.09
Handmadeology
_1.14.09
Indie Smiles
_12.17.08
Buyers Market Blog- 100 Small Actions
_12.3.08

Overhearing

I'm listening to my mom and Bro2 (that would be the youngest brother) talk in the kitchen. The conversation is meandering all over the place and cracking me up.

She told him Alex Trebek had a heart attack. He had no idea who that was. "Is that a poet?" he asks. When she tells him who he is Bro2 says, "Oh, the Jeopardy man has a name?"

Then he got confused and was wondering how our near 70-year-old aunt was going to have twins. She's not. It's her daughter-in-law that's pregnant.

Then they're discussing what my mom would want to be called if she ever became a grandmother. At the moment, she's nowhere closer to being a grandmother. She's ruled out Granny but has made up all kinds of other odd names. Grandmama A. I don't like that. Bro2 didn't either.

It was funny to me, the whole odd thing.

Been Up to All Good

Progress
Originally uploaded by lpdesigns

I've dropped of the face of the Titled Unnecessarily world. I haven't posted an entry in four days. Oops.

I've been working on my room. Yes, still. I was given a deadline for finishing staining and I want to beat it I'm doing most of the work by myself and it's thankless and tiring. I want to do it myself...I think I need. I've taken off layers of wallpaper and paint, dealt withFumes of paint stripper and stain, gotten my hands really messy and sweaty and smelly. This has been going on for a long time.

My head kinda hurts now, but I'm close to finishing. I think. I hope. I have to be. I only have a window and a 2-foot section left to stain. This is a 'custom' mix of two stains because I refused to settle for Golden Oak stain after my original design idea didn't work. Then it'll have to be sealed. Then I can paint. *cheers*

Commemorate

Commemorate
Originally uploaded by lpdesigns

I decided to make the piece an ornament. I may be able to make a few different ornaments before it gets too close to Christmas. Wish I'd gotten this idea sooner. *sigh* Sometimes my timing is really bad. haha.

Do you think a 14-yr-old boy would want a wallet for Christmas? He needs one. But for him, Christmas is about wants not needs. Still he shouldn't carry about wads of his snowblowing money in his pockets. Hmmm.

300

300- but a less gory kind
Originally uploaded by lpdesigns

I got to 300 hearts today on my shop today. I'm very pleased with this. I'd been close for a while and wanted to get it before the end of the year. I've gotten 200 hearts in less time than it took me to get to 100. This really isn't a HUGE deal sales-wise. Most of my sales have been to brand new buyers who don't heart me.

Today was crazy so this was a nice little reward. Encouraging. I needed it. :)

On to tomorrow. I have a few new things to list. More woodburning. I'm becoming obsessed.

Hello Winter

I should have made things like crazy. Instead, I've spent most of the day on the computer or watching TV. I got another sale. Eep! Another item sale at that. Yay! I'm so child-like when it comes to sales. If I can get like 4 more, I'll have sold 2x as much as last year. Which numbers-wise isn't that great...but statistically it rocks. It's all about perspective. I'm trying to changed to 'half-full'.

There are still some hours left in the day. I'll see what I can do. Other big news, I finally came up with an invoice form that I liked. I don't know why I didn't think to use a table/chart all along. So much easier. I think it looks more professional. It's definitely so much easier.

I took a chance and emailed someone else about my shop. I don't know what'll come from it. But then I never do. I still didn't hear back from another email I sent.
And it looks like I may get that huge jewelry commission. I hope so. I just need to start brainstorming ideas. Eek!

Maybe this is all finally turning around.

Post Picture:
Frankly, the picture makes me a little sad. It's proof it probably won't be t-shirt weather for another 3+ months. Some people look forward to this. Not I. This was taken my brother youngest this morning. He should take a class in photography, I think. He gets so really nice shots for someone with no training at all. *is an over-proud big sis* :P

Oh me, oh my

I got my 30th and 31st sales today. I'm so happy. I didn't know when it was going to come. Trying to stay hopeful in a sales drought is hard. It's a great way to start a month, especially December. They were item sales too, not just supplies. Looking at my sales I just realized I hadn't had an item sale since July. I really hope it continues. Eep! I also hope it never gets to be so business-y that I stop being joyful when I get a sale or accomplish something. Maybe not every sale, but milestone ones.

The paper that I have with my list of ideas just keeps getting longer. I'm loving this right now. I'm seeing how much creating means to me. I want to keep getting better.

There are no pictures involved with this post because I'm using my dad's PC, which isn't on the same network. Ah, well. You can see pics on Flickr if you would like.

GOOOOOAL!!!

Acute in Kelly Green
Originally uploaded by lpdesigns

Those earrings are the 50th listing in my shop. I'm really happy about this. It was a goal of mine to get to 50 before the end of the month. I just made it. I really like the picture. The background is a piece of construction paper.

I'm working on my bedroom...still. One day it will be done. I hope. :/ I'm stressing about everything else. I thought I was past this, but it's slipped back in.

So I'm going back to work on things. I have some new ideas. I'm hopeful.

Now 11.28

I found that book at a recent research trip to Barnes and Nobles. I got the titles I was looking for, making a Christmas list, but I can never just look at what I came for in a bookstore.

I don't knit. I barely crochet, but I now I desperately want to do both. I only want to make scarves. I didn't even like scarves until last year. This is very odd. But the scarves in that book are beautiful. I want to make them. Not that I NEED to diversify elpy any more. Sheesh.

Speaking of the shop, I listed these today:
The picture is clickable. More magnets, yep. These had been done for a while, but I held off listing them because...I don't really know. I just stalled for a while.

I'm also starting to like perusing stores in a sort of shopping. More like searching for clothes, for cheap. I never liked this before. At all. It was insane trying to get me to shop, plus, my clothes last forever since I haven't gotten any taller, only a little wider. :P More evidence of the change in me, I suppose. Interesting, I must say.

Onward Upward

day29- Pic me
Originally uploaded by lpdesigns

So I continue to make things. Yes, sometimes I wonder why. I'm overtaking various areas with my creations. I'm going to need to buy more storage. Meh. But I seem to have to. As I make I get new ideas, so I have to make those too, of course. :)

I was reading through my off-line business journal, where I keep track of ideas and other things that are the boring side of business. I realize I've changed a lot. I think I'm more confident. I still procrastinate, though I'm getting better. I still wish I could catch a sales break. But I'm pretty sure I going to have to make that happen. Until then...

Post Picture: More magnets. The clefs are listed. The other two need their photos edit but are otherwise ready to be in the shop.

Write

write
Originally uploaded by lpdesigns

I hope your Thanksgiving, if you're American, was good. Goodness to everyone really. No need to discriminate. :)

I'm pretty tired but thought I'd update here because...I want to. The rush is on to Christmas. I'm so not feelin' it. But hey, there's still time.

We went out today as a family minus Bro1 who was working. It was nice. My parents are so silly and cute together. I love 'em.

Post Picture: My hand again. Suddenly I'm really diggin' takin' pics of my hands. Not sure why. I converted it to black and white. The out-of-focus bit is a crochet blanket and it was distracting to me in color. Plus, I seriously heart black and white photography. :)

LNJ

day26- Outside the Lines
Originally uploaded by lpdesigns

The title is the abbreviation I use in my hard copy journal that has all the dirt on me in it. It means Late Night Journaling. I've been journaling a lot. I've had to or I fear my brain may explode, so many thoughts. Writing helps organize it all, if only for a short time.

I'm LNJ now.

I figured out I can change the dpi on my scanner. It's not so evil after all. So...

Post Picture:
A picture I painted yesterday. I like it. I'd been wanting to paint for a while. I never had, but wanted to try.

Day 26 of the Crafting 365.

Cold, Wet, White

day25- iSaw
Originally uploaded by lpdesigns

Yes, it snowed today. I thought it would. I hoped against it. Ah well. It wasn't much, just enough to shovel. (I didn't shovel my brothers did.) It's clouded over and soft and white and cold. (I should used commas, all the 'ands' are for effect.) Winter is just about here. (Not technically, I know.) All right. Enough with the parenthetical phrases.

What does it mean when you think about someone all the time? Good thoughts, wishful thoughts, and all the time. Wondering, hoping, thinking, thinking. I'm feeling obsessive. But I can't seem to help it. I try to reason with myself. It amazingly, hasn't hurt my productivity. For the first time since I opened elpy, I have more things on hand that listed. It's almost seemed to help. I would say more, but this IS the interwebs. Haha.

Post Picture:
A sort of self-portrait that I am a little proud of. Got the timer on the camera to work. I'm cutting wood for a new project. Like I need a new project. Haha. Maybe you can guess what it is.

Day 25 for Crafting 365.

Jan's

Jan's
Originally uploaded by lpdesigns

I'm working on my room again. I need to stain the moulding. I was mad that I can't get it dark like the doors are/will be. I'll probably have to settle for Golden Oak because of the patina of the wood. I really don't like Golden Oak. The walls are going to be beige with random shapes of color (a concept my mother doesn't seem to fully understand.) Golden Oak is such a yellow-y orange that I think it will look really bad. I'm going to try Cherry and hope that look all right.

Post Picture:
Yesterday I gave the pastor's wife back her necklaces. I had to four to restring. The one in the picture was my favorite.

It's double strung, waxed linen thread and tigertail. The big beads are pretty heavy. I tried to keep with the original designs. It had little fiber beads wrapped in gold as a spacers. When I took it apart the beads came apart. I improvised and used a repeating wooden bead pattern. There's also some macrame at the back for the toggle, similar to the original. I figured it was the design she liked when she bought the necklace and didn't want to funk with it too much. It's not my style, a little too grown up, but I think it's really pretty.

Inspired

A great list of advice on doing a craft show from Etsyan woodmouse's blog.

I'm thinkin' it may be too late to really salvage this year for my shop. I still have a few weeks before Christmas. I'll list some things and see if I can get some sales. Next year I'm going to really pursue this. I need to. I think I'm ready. I can do this. I have determination when I want to. I really want to make elpy/Handcrafted work. I need to prepare, now. I'm researching and designing. I'm a girl/woman on a mission.

Blurble 11.17

I'm noticing more and more that I'm not the same as I was. There are a lot of reasons for this. I was ready for a change. I've woken with a smile two days in a row. This is unusual. I've never liked waking up, even when I was little and had no problems. :P The new me is cool.

I haven't been working my fingers off, but I have cranked out more new things than I have in a while. I have a goal of getting to 50 things in the shop before the end of the month. That would be seven new things and I have that. I just procrastinate when it comes to listing. Picture taking can still be badness. But I keep getting compliments on my product pictures so I guess I've gotten better.

Other Blurble posts.

Post Picture: More new magnets. The bass clef is finished, the treble halfway. It is day 24 of Crafting 365. I really do draw everything by hand first. I think I'm done with them now. I don't know if I should add another sign to the bottom. I like them the way are. Have 2 other sets done now, too. I'm on a crafty roll!

Finding Me 11.16

I'm feeling much better, like emotionally. Really, the last two months have been amazing. I'm looking forward more. I'm embracing changes. I'm not squashing things inside. I keep learning more about myself. Not fully understanding all the time. But accepting it. That was hard for a long time.

I stood up for myself and my art the other day. I wouldn't have done this earlier in the year. Just wish it hadn't taken me so long to get this point. But I'm seeing how EVERYTHING works together, takes time.

I've also started listing/relisting more. I have 4 things finished that I need to photograph/edit photos. I'm so pleased with myself. Haha. I have a laundry list of things to do, including laundry. Heh. Best get to it.

Post Picture: My hand. I was lounging in bed, reading over my journal and thought it was interesting. The ring is not from Etsy. I found it before I knew about Etsy. It's on my finger everyday. <3

Enjoy

Enjoy
Originally uploaded by lpdesigns

He wrote back. That's all I have to say. You probably don't know what I'm talking about. As a hint, read on of my early September entries.
Yes, I'm crazy. But it's just a series of events that's huge to me.

I have magnets and wristlets to list this week, plus other things to renew. I'm a machine. Okay, not really.

Post Picture: Coffee and Donut magnets that I listed today.

Of the same

My magnets came today, the pieces to glue on the back. I'm very happy. She gave me 20 extra so I have 120. Haha. I'm special. I went through 20 magnets much faster than I thought. I got these for a wonderful price. I'm very happy. So more magnets will soon be in the shop.

I also finished the redo of the earring I started. I like it, but it looks a little bare. I'm not sure how to remedy this. Black and white is so classy that I'm not sure if I should introduce another color in beads or go with a grey...or just leave it alone. I don't have any grey beads, though, so getting some would mean a trip to the store. Not all bad, just slightly inconvenient.

Post Picture: Magnet blanks waiting to be branded. I don't have a custom burning tip so everything has to be drawn and burned individually. That's not all bad. Day 22 of Crafting 365.

Photoshop Elements(PSE) play: B&W conversion then Old Paper filter.

A Lot to Say

I was torn for a long time. But I finally made up my mind and purchased more magnets pieces, the little metal part. I'm getting 100 for a good price. I hope they're as strong as the ones I like. They're bigger, the size I originally wanted but couldn't find, and not from the people I bought the little ones from. Those folks only had little ones. Shall see.

Have a little bit of drama going on. But I'm surprising myself with how cool I'm being. It's not life or death at all. I dealt with some stuff and now I don't stress nearly as easily.

I was skipping yesterday. Bopping all around like a little girl. I'm silly sometimes. Very silly. A giddy me isn't not one I'm familiar with.

I finally finished the blue wristlet. I'm working on the cranberry one, which I had relisted after it sold but somehow never got around to actually making. I now have to finish the earrings I started. And I'd like to draw more magnets.

It's so cool about the creative process. I've been on a bit of a tear, pushing myself to work on projects everyday, even if I don't finish. I have oodles of time and need to use it more wisely. Some of these ideas I'd held onto for a long time, fear of making them wrong, them not selling, running out of ideas. But I just got a new idea today, a way to use some of the scraps of wristlet lining fabric. Two ways actually. One idea I'd had for a while. The other just *poofed* into my head today. It's amazing how the more I make, the more I think of too make. Being stagnant hurt. I'm much happier now. Maybe that's why I was skipping.

Today in pictures

day17- Tragic

day17- Tragic
Originally uploaded by lpdesigns

This is a sort of new earring design. It's based on the Convex. It's a fairly versatile shape. I finished this one this afternoon. I'm not completely satisfied with it. A little tweaking. I'll save the sterling from in and make it over.

I can't decide if I want to add beads to it. I think with it being black and white it'll be more wardrobe friendly. I could use black or white beads. Or grey/silver. I don't have any that color. I'd have to go to the bead store. Which isn't all bad. :P

I think a lot. I think myself in circles. I think myself in and out of things. Usually into headaches, physically, and out of being daring. I think all the time. A recent event had ratcheted (spl?) it up even more. I'm scaring myself because I'm thinking about that while thinking about something else at the same time. I think all the time. It's tiring. And not all profitable. I don't want to make mistakes so I try to think of everything that could go wrong. That's impossible of course. It doesn't stop me from thinking.

Then random thoughts will eek in. Like what is the purpose of finger hair? Couldn't we have evolved that out? (Microevolution is totally plausible.) If you have an answer leave a comment.

Featured pt 2

Featured
Originally uploaded by lpdesigns

Eep, I'm on the front page. I don't know for how long. They change the items a lot. But I haven't been on the front page in eons. I'm so very happy. Thanks gemma!

While watching the end of Chuck, Heroes and Journeyman, I sanded the rest of the 40 magnet blanks I cut. I enough for 50 magnets now. I just need to purchase the magnet part, the metal little disc...you know.

I'm still thinking about a certain someone way too much. I surprise myself. I'm so complicated.

Listless and Listed

Pronunciation: \ˈlist-ləs\
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English listles, from 2list
Date: 15th century

: characterized by lack of interest, energy, or spirit (a listless melancholy attitude)

This is sort of how I feel with spurts of crazy, stay-up all night energy. Uh, why?



I listed that. It's the final Westie that can be made with the rainbow plaid lining. It was an old shirt of my mom's. I think I got 5 wristlets made from it. I have one more to (re)list. Don't worry, I have and am looking for more shirts/fabric for lining. I have oodles of corduroy. I just like using shirts. I won't stop making them.

Dabbler

Weed- Infared
Originally uploaded by lpdesigns

I macrame a little, sew a little, write a little, read a lot. I'm a dabbler. I am. I think I should focus, but I know I never could. Not fully. I enjoy too many things too much.

Lately, it's been hard to blog. I just can't think of anything interesting to say. My vocabulary is too limited to really say how I feel. Odd, I guess. I'm caught in some mind/heart game. It's tiring and painful at times. I wish I understood me better than I do. This would be so much easier then. It would also be easier if there was someone I could talk to about all this. But there isn't. I don't let anyone get that close.

Post Picture: This was a weed in my backyard. I cropped it and changed the color. We have no albino plants in our yard. :P

Blurble 11.02

Ha, I just realized that today's date 1102 is the number for the store where I used to work. Not the phone number, but the little code number that distinguish it from the 2999 other stores in the country. I'm still so glad I'm not working there anymore.

Today I will:
Photograph new wristlet(s)
Restring at least one of the two necklaces I have to repair
Finish an ACEO
Topstich other wristlet straps
Persuade Dad to puh-lease trim the wood for the magnets. (I generally cut the myself, but these two pieces need to be trimmed with the big saw first. *treasures her fingers*)
Work on my room.
Drink something hot, it's freezing here

That's all I can think of at the moment. I'll have to talk to my mom, too. Discuss functions in math. Don't get 'em. First step is to get off the computer, which I'll do after this post. :P

Post Picture: A rental car we had for a week while our back-up car, which is now our only car, was in the shop. It was a sweet little ride. Little. After our van, it was a smidge cramped.

November

Brush in hand
Originally uploaded by lpdesigns

I can't believe it's almost Christmas...ish. I can't believe the year's almost over. I can't believe I just made a wristlet in one sitting. :P I'll adjust though.

I finished a practice SAT yesterday. My score was about 1900, the thing would be graded on a curve so it's an estimate. I guess that's not bad. It's better than average. But I really want to pull up my math score. Grr...never liked math. (There's a long story why I haven't taken this test yet, but, well, it's boring.)

I should have new wristlets to list in the coming days. This is good because I'm down to one in the shop. I ran out of the lining fabric that I used in that one, but I have others, not quite as colorful. I need to go looking for more.

Pretty much everyday I'm uncovering something new about myself. Some strange belief I've held onto for too long, something that makes no sense. It's amazing what sticks in my head sometimes. I'm getting better. Slowly. Like progress on my room. Ha, I'll get this done if...well, I just say I'll get it done.

Post Picture: My hand as I stain the closet door in the sunroom. I had to take it out of my bedroom.

New week

Chinny chin chin
Originally uploaded by lpdesigns

Okay, I'm going to admit that I really just wanted to post to show my picture. I need to go prioritize, organize and strategize a few things...like my life. :P Nothing else has happened much to warrant post. So that's it. Enjoy the photo!

Post Picture:
My cat. She's lounging. I shot it in b&w because I happen to freakin' love b&w shots and because my camera is a pain and doesn't like to render colors correctly when it's dark. It was dreary that day.

Happy Friday

Leaves
Originally uploaded by lpdesigns

I woke up today, happy to be alive. This is a new feeling. Most of my life I've hated waking up.

I've been making a list of things I want to accomplish in a week. It's not a lot. I should probably do it day by day, but I tried that and eventually stopped trying. A week works better for me. So I sewed a little yesterday, started a new wristlet, another Westie. I'm not going to try to make up another pattern until I streamline this one. Sometimes I just can't remember how I made something. I'm glad the ones I have haven't sold yet, or I'd be lost. I need to write better instructions.

I'm also thinking I'm going to need to raise the prices of some of my items. I'll have to do a better job of charting how long it takes to make the different things and the cost of materials.

Post Picture:
I took this one a few Sundays ago, when I walked to the PO. It's a tree near town hall.

Who I Am (Pt. 2)

Because here I can link to whatever I want!

I posted in Gemmafactrix's thread today, talking about what lyric describes your mood today. I chose:

From Anna Nalick's Breathe

There's a light at each end of this tunnel,
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
---

Stuff's changing. It's an interesting time for me.

Shipped

All done 2
Originally uploaded by lpdesigns

I guess I'm risking getting some whacked out emails with my address showing. Ah, well. Bring 'em on!

I finished my consignment stuff today, and shipped it. I'm pretty pleased. I hope I get some sales. I finished the business cards, which look a lot like the old ones because I realized I didn't have to move heaven and earth just delete so text and add some new. Sometimes I overthink the universe.

It's very hot here. For October. It's almost 80. This is good because it allows me to work on my room without dying from the fumes of the paint stripper. It makes me wonder, though, what winter will be like.

Day 11- bows on a stick

Day 11- bows on a stick
Originally uploaded by lpdesigns

I'm a member of the Flickr group Crafting 365. I skipped a whole bunch of calendar days but picked up where I left off, because I kinda like the pictures I had.

Today I'm working on my consignment order. These are half-done gift bow earrings.

I've taken to severe cropping, make a normal shot look like a panorama. (Yes, I'm reading a book on photography, but a lot of it doesn't make sense...all the terms.) Plus, my camera behaved and focused properly. Of course, the problem could be the photographer.

I'm tired of talking about me, now.

Production

These aren't going to be consigned. Once I buy more magnets, they'll probably be listed. I went on a bit of a tear last night. I burned those four and started on the eight for Bailey's Designs. It was nice to just sit and work and listen to music. (note: my stereo is dead, now. I was using my mom's.) Not that I have a shortage of time. I just get distracted.

I get so pensive when I'm making a new design. I wasn't even going to burn the coffee and donuts because I kinda messed up when I was drawing the donuts. But then I figured, what do I have to lose.

Things, including myself, are continuing to change. It's interesting and subtle, though sometimes glaring and obvious. It's funny how easily I'm adjusting to a new way of thinking, still way analytical, but less stressed. I guess I was ready for something new.

Eep!

My stuff is up on Bailey's Designs. She found me on Etsy and asked if I wanted to consign with her. We worked out the details and there I am. Now I just need to finish the items for her and send them. I hope this works out for both of us.

It May Be

apple
Originally uploaded by lpdesigns

That's another picture I took. I cropped it, it was bigger. When I took my walk on Sunday, I cut through the backyard when I came home and saw this as I rounded the corner of the house, one of the corners. The apple had fallen far from the tree. (The tree is about 5 feet to the right.)

This has been a really tumultuous last few weeks. Change is frightening and thrilling. I still can't fully wrap my head around all that's happened, not because it's really that awesome, more because I way over-analyze.

I may have a consignment possibility. The shop is new, but that's still cool. I'd never had someone ask me before. I may have a HUGE jewelry commission. It would be for a Sweet 15 party so I don't have all the details yet. But still if I got that...Whoa!

I'm taking small steps. Making small decisions. Trying to be diligent. Sometimes I wish I could skip to end, find out who I'm supposed to be, where I'll be in 10 years. Would that really be easier?

Who I Am

Fountains
Originally uploaded by lpdesigns

I took that picture yesterday. I had to mail a letter, a survey from a class I took. It was fairly nice and it didn't matter that the Post Office was closed. The lobby where you can deposit letters was open.

I took the camera with me. A few days ago I posted that I was fighting my desire to get into photography. I do this because I think I'm getting into too many different things. I need to focus, right? I got an encouraging comment on that post so I decided to stop fighting it. It was only stressing me out.

I snapped quite a few pics. I may upload more to Flickr over the coming days. I actually smiled when I got one capture. The leaves are changing, this shot was really nice, to me. Of course, I'm a complete amateur. But I'm loving it.

I walked up to the library, sans camera, I wanted the trip to be short, and got a book on digital photography. I want to know the basics before I consider taking a class.

I also got and SAT prep book. It's a really good one, I'm devouring it. Yes, it's been years since I graduated high school. (I'm 21.) But I long since thought that a huge block in my pursuing any kind of further education was the fact that I never took that test. I had ALL KINDS of misconceptions, so it's probably really good I didn't take it when I was 18.

I'm realizing that I have to do (not missing a word there), I can't just thinking about doing. Sometimes you have to help things get better. It's scaring the heck out of me. What if I mess up? I'm getting less afraid in small ways. I need to get out of this rut I"m in, that I've been in for the last three years. I'm not fully ready. But is there such a thing as a perfect time?

Blurble 10.13

Uninterested
Originally uploaded by lpdesigns

I have no idea for a title today, sorry. You can read other blurble posts, too. When my thoughts are too scattered to harness into a coherent post, I blurble. :P

I took that picture of my cat yesterday. She was sitting one of the windows and I thought it was really cool how the sun made her look like she was glowing. She wasn't too happy with me all in her face, and I guess the camera didn't smell too interesting. Shortly after I took this shot, she left the window. She's not a very obliging subject at times. But she's cute.

Still a little frustrated. Such a muddle, I'm in. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. Physically, I'm fine. I just think myself into such problems, it's ridiculous.

It's cold, now. It's October so it should be, but I was kinda liking the whole 80-degree-fall thing. Gotta break out long-sleeved stuff. I realize around this time that I have a lot of ugly clothes.

My stereo is dying a slow, ornery death. I'm very sad. Very sad.

Explain

Why is what I want usually not what I do? I wanted to make something for my shop, something new to list. Instead I watched Deal or No Deal, a show I mildly hate. There is still time for me to work on something. But that's an hour I lost. I could've gone upstairs and gotten something to work on. But I didn't want to go all the way upstairs. I don't get it. I don't get it.

I also realize that eventually I will run out of one word titles for my posts. Maybe I'll start using words from other languages. :P

LSD- later same day- see below

I don't feel that way anymore.

I was standing at the sink, washing collard greens for dinner (which was scrumptious by the way) when I heard clear as a bell, "Never Give Up!". I could be going crazy, with all the stress I've put on myself, I'm not ruling it out. But I realize at that moment that this was probably the first time I didn't contemplate shutting down my shop. I was frustrated and a little depressed, which I'd been before. But this time I wanted desperately to know how to make it better.

That made me smile a little. I won't give up. I don't think I can.

No Such Thing

I just want to cry right now.
I'm frustrated.

Dejavu

The necklace for my aunt
Originally uploaded by lpdesigns

I watched Dejavu twice with the family over the weekend. Or maybe it was only once, but it felt like two times. :) *kidding* I loved it.

I finally found the long clear bugle beads to make another one of these necklaces for my shop. I made the first for my aunt. She appreciated it. I'm not sure where to get the extender chain, though. For hers, I just stole it from a necklace that I didn't wear anymore. I suppose I could to that again. Hmmm.

I made another magnet. It's for my mom again, she wants a bunch for her Bible study friends. Oh, and I may get a HUGE jewelry commission from one of mom's friends. The friend's niece is having a Sweet 15 next year, but they start planning a year in advance. It would be really cool if I did.

So I'm feeling encouraged. I'm in this treasury list three times. *cheers*

Self-evident

542
Originally uploaded by lpdesigns

I have been slacking. This is not good.

I've been seeing pictures in my mind. Like instances in life and thought, that would look interesting as a photograph. I should walk with a camera. But the battery on ours is iffy. Plus, I may drive my family crazy, incessantly snapping shots of oddness. (see photo in the post)

No one was around when I took that photo. It's the top of a styrofoam container my brother bought. Okay, he bought chicken wings, but the container was too keep him from having to hold them, you understand. I was sitting there thinking, That would be an interesting shot. I like it. The out-of-focus stuff are the dining room chairs and a book he had open.

I'm really getting drawn into photography, but I'm fighting. I'm afraid. I think it's too artsy. I'm not strong enough to handle...what I'm not sure. I'm not sure if I only want to tinker. I think I could be good. If I wasn't scared. *sigh* To try and fail, I suppose, is better than never trying at all. (that's a reworking of a sentiment usually said, about love) Shall see.

Breathe

SPT 10.04
Originally uploaded by lpdesigns

The craziness started with this post. The term 'emotional rollercoaster' is cliche but it fits perfectly here. I've been really taken for a ride, similar to the Mind Eraser at Six Flags- which I did ride two weeks ago, over the past 30 days. I have felt each turn, twist and loop acutely. I seem to have lost my ability to squash things inside. I'm exhausted.

I've been to Waterford, CT; Hartford, CT; Agawam, MA; Plattsburgh, NY; and Montreal, Quebec, Canada. That's a lot for little homebody me. Two sort of vacations in one month. Admittedly Hartford isn't that far from my house. But on each trip I learned something about myself. Too much to go into here.

It was good, bad, lovely, dark. I was a little daring, for me. I was decisive at times. I grew, I think. (not physically, blast it!) If I don't have a month like this for a while, I think I'll live. But I feel like this was a beginning of sorts. I'm ready to change.

It's over

Yep, more comic strip news. We (my mom and I) have been following the comic strip Funky Winkerbean for a while, about 5 years or so. Recently the author had Lisa's cancer recur. Now, she's gone.

This has been the source of lots of internet content. I didn't get involved in comic forums, I have my hands full with indie and Etsy forums. But I felt that he could have let her get well. I didn't have to end this way. A very good commentary was written in the local newspaper regarding this.

I don't know why things like this are getting to me. Recently a radio talk show guy I listen to a lot got divorced and I felt incredibly sad for his kids. I'm feeling everything more acutely since, well April I guess. I'm internalizing more because I think it shouldn't be a big deal. It's something that I couldn't have influenced either way. *sigh* I don't understand me sometimes.

Back in the Day

90's kid magnets
Originally uploaded by lpdesigns

These magnets are new in my shop. I love them now that they're done and photographed.

These were inspired by a list I read on an Etsyan's blog a long time ago, before I thought of making magnets. I can't find that blog now, else I would be sure to link to it, out of respect. :) It was a very comprehensive list about being a child of the 90s. I'd seen other lists from past decades but this one was me spot on.

"Not!" and "Syke!" made it even into my straight-laced private school during my elementary years. I still say them sometimes. It's just fun.

I drew up these babies yesterday and burned them. I wish I could have recorded the process through which I came up the design. Not for the blog, just because it amazes me how something goes from a thought to a tangible little pieces of cuteness. I wasn't sure about adding the stick person. But I like it now, it brings out the kid-ishness. *makes up words*

Home

Montreal Notre Dame Cathedral inside
Originally uploaded by panoramicviewer

I didn't take that picture. I DID go to that church. My gosh, it's beautiful. I can hardly comprehend how much time it took to make it all. It was really weird, for severe lack of a better word, because I have a puzzle of this place. I had no idea that it was in Montreal.

What was I doing in Montreal? I went to visit my cousin, in school in Plattsburgh, NY. P-burgh, as she called it, isn't THE place to be. (not that that matters much to me) She took me, and some of her other friends to Montreal. We attempted to go to some clubs. Ended up only getting in to two. Still it was fun, milling around a city with no 'adult' supervision.

This was so great because I had been aching to get away from home. I needed this, badly. But I was never so happy as when we got through customs, back into the States. I was only there for about 24 hours, and I loved it. But then I wanted to get back to the familiar. And even though I'm not at all familiar with upper New York state, it was enough. I don't think it's a superiority thing. Montreal is a beautiful city, unlike any I've been to in the US. I'd definitely go back. It was just that for as much as I had wanted to get away, I wanted then, to get back.

I wish I had brought the camera though. I kept seeing things and thinking, that would make a great pic. I'll learn one day.

Ctrl + Z- day 7

Ctrl + Z- day 7
Originally uploaded by lpdesigns

First of all the clarity of this pic is astonishing. (There's a word I haven't used in a while.) Most of the time I want to hurl the dang thing across the room. At those times, as if it senses it, it reaches back and gives me a photo like this.

The title is the hotkey command in most PC programs to undo something. Which I what I did to this.

I didn't make this. It was a gift. I liked it. But chokers always make me feel like, well, I' being choked. I love the beads and the colors, it's kinda ethnic and earthy. My little bit of crafting time today was spent deconstructing it. I'm not sure exactly how it will be remade. It'll probably be a necklace but I'm not sure what. However it will most likely be a piece for me. :)

Through

Through
Originally uploaded by lpdesigns

The picture above was taken through four pairs of safety glasses. I was being random when I took it, but I kinda liked it. I wear safety glasses everyday as I work on my room. One day, it will all be done and I'll have to move out because I'm 30. That's years away, but still.

I feel like I'm stuck again. In so many ways. I'm tired even after I've slept because all why I'm going to sleep I'm stressing. I worry a lot. I'm going away this weekend. Suddenly I've developed a social life. But after this, I'll be home for a while...until I can convince someone to give me a job. (Through an interview of course...I just hate them.)

I cut 19 pieces for magnets yesterday. I have 16 left to sand. Cutting went lickety-split. I was so happy. Clamps are a great invention. One day, maybe I'll have a real workshop/studio and will look back with wonder on these times. How did I work with that? Because I was young and naive. :P

I may write him today. (Who the 'him' isn't really important. Read back a few entries and you'll kinda know.) It's just an email, right? If he doesn't respond, like he hasn't, then I'll have done what I can.

So. Many. Choices

I want to remake my banner. Yes, again. I really never intended for the one I have now to stay up for as long as it has.

I asked the Etsy forummers for a font site because I had an idea of the font I wanted to use but it wasn't in Word, Printmaster or PSE. I got a really cool one, dafont. Now I'm not sure which I want to use. Maybe I like 'elpy' in caps. In some of the fonts it looks nices that way. Other fonts I prefer it in lowercase. I shall have to decide, hopefully this week.

If you want to see some of the fonts I'm pondering click here

TV aside:
I loved Heroes yesterday. I'm so glad it's back.

It's official

I seriously hate selling on Amazon.

We're book people. We have too many. I'm the designated online shopping/selling expert in the house. Amazon sucks for selling, to me, unless you're a high volume seller. Or perhaps my experience have just been bad. It also doesn't help that a lot of the book we have are obscure self-help things. I've had wonderful buying experiences on Amazon. But selling...glahg!

Sorry for the negativity. I'm just really frustrated right now.

Catching up

Yesterday, as a super-sweet reward for helping a family friend, I spent all day at Six Flags. The picture above is of a ride called Flashback. I rode it. It was scary at first, when you could see the drop. But it was fun. I rode 6 roller coasters yesterday, one I went on twice. I did NOT ride the Superman. I keep thinking I can work up enough courage. But dropping 200 feet with only a lap bar as a restraint...I would pass out. I enjoyed myself way more than I should have been allowed. I didn't work THAT hard with the friend.

I finished some wristlet straps. Hopefully some time this week I'll be able to get at least one in my shop. My mom is buying magnets to give as gifts. One set is for her. She's my best customer.

I haven't solidified my visit to my cousin this weekend. It would be nice, but have lots of logistics to work out. Shall see.

I'm tired now, but I have to keep an eye on an eBay item for my dad.