From ages 9-13 I'd go to church camp for a week with my BFF. There were poked at bad food with our forks, ate too much candy, talked late into the night, swam, canoed, sat by campfires, played scavenger hunts and lived out doomed romances. (not i. i didn't need a long-distance relationship at 10.) The summertime fun I had there still comes to mind and makes me smile.
It was at camp that I first attempted photography in a more artistic sense. My aunt had given me a camera when I was about 8. So along with my clothes, multiple bottles of bug spray and extra socks, my parents would give me a roll of film. My camera, however, didn't stand up to the klutzy wear-and-tear I gave it. The back would flop open, ruining those exposures and I'm not sure it really understood the concept of focusing. Still...a love was born. My camptime infatuation. With photography.
I took the above picture with that pink kid's camera. I've always also been enamored with sunsets. This is from the back deck of the mess hall at camp, out toward the lake I refused to swim in. I was too cool. When I got the prints back, after sifting through the double-exposed and blurry candid shots of my cabin mates I saw this one. Paused. And decided I wanted to learn to take more pictures like that.
In the course of life, photography got back-burned. It was part fear, part lack-of-knowledge and resources. I came across this picture looking for one to post for a flashback. And my teenage promise came back to my ears. I promised myself I would learn. And to a degree I have. Now, to keep going.
Elbert Green Hubbard, 1856 - 1925
I'd been feeling a little stagnant in nearly every way. I just didn't seem to be accomplishing things that I'd had on my mental to-do list, the big one I dare not utter, full of tough tasks I couldn't bare to fail attempting. I'm on myself to do more, to be better (probably harder than I need to). But no amount of thinking could make the smallest chink in the seemingly insurmountable wall that was blocking me from 'being all I could be'. What was the hold up?
Then by divine chance, I saw this print, (On Twitter...love my tweetpals) and made one of a handful of impulse purchases. It struck a chord with me as that idea, of fearing mistakes, has been a fear of mine since I was a child. Through some self-assigned tasks, I'm slowly deciding that I need to conquer that fear in order to simply live. Fear has a way of growing and becoming inconvenient and unmanageable. Finding this print shrank that wall to a leapable height. Am I ready? Set? To go for it all?