9.07.2007

Decision

Sometimes things happen that are monumental to you but no one else, I've decided. In these instances it's okay to seemingly 'overreact' or at least respond slightly out of character. It's okay to bask in that moment of goodness, fortune or whatever you want to call it. Eventually life will move you on. (How would I write that so it doesn't end in a preposition? Is that still a grammatic sin?) Enjoy it! Smile!

Where is that coming from? I'm kinda calling myself out. Sometimes I can be such a pessimist and call it being realistic. I'll reason myself out of being happy because 'it's not that big a deal'. I do this with good things and bad things, squash what I'm feeling. I don't like that about me.

I've been journaling and blogging (and smiling) like crazy lately. I just NEED to get the feelings out. People have noticed. But I don't want to share the reason, yet. (With someone I actually know. By blogging I'm sharing, I know.) It's one of the moments that might only be huge to me. I don't want to find out if it is, yet. I don't want to ruin it. I don't want anyone to pop my happiness. I don't want to be drawn back into negativity again. I've been there for too long.