breathe- emotional intervention

I'd been immensely stressed and feeling rather low. The semester's almost over so there's that stress. One of the papers in particular is pure anxiety. Then I found out I need more classes than I'd previously thought. So I may need another semester at community college. That was crushing in the moment. I was ready to be done. Then there's trying to figure out post-community college stuff and career stuff. For some reason, call me childish, the idea of a career makes me cringe inside.

I went to a different place for breakfast and walking back to the bus stop, I saw the little smiley. And despite the cloudy weather, and despite not actually having any of my problems solved, I paused and smiled. Then I let the businessman walk by, took out my camera and took the picture.

I don't know who put the little smiley there. But thank you.
:)

hi D ho

spt 3.3- inclass, a photo by becca.elpy on Flickr.

i'm alive
and 25
not super happy
but i'm working
on it.

classin' it up

I have not mentioned that I'm back in school and loving it. Ok, that last part isn't exactly true. This semester has been tough for reasons that I can't fully express. Usually by now I'm into it, I have a class or two that I really like and too many projects due to contemplate how much I don't enjoy the others. Such isn't really the case this semester. I even skipped class yesterday for the first time ever. But I'm pushing through.

Among the classes on the slate for this term is Digital Photography 1. We've had three projects so far and I've done well on them. I think I'm feeling more confident with my camera. I'm loving my zoom lens. I'm learning to see things photographically, imagine in my mind what settings would suit situations I find myself in. Yet, I wonder...

The post picture shot was intentional. I like it. I like when photography fails like that...fails to focus, focus sharply. But what is it? What about that photo draws me in? What is it (in my opinion) that sharp focus would kill? A concern of mine upon registering for this class was that learning technique would make me obsessive and rigid. Still finding joy in a shot like the one above shows that it hasn't, that maybe it can't. That makes me happy.

on.my.feet

_{inspired by Rabbit Muse's post}

I keep my clothes forever. I think I still have a pair of shorts given to me as a pre-teen by one of my aunts. They still fit. I have only gotten wider from those days. I'm not much of a shopper; going to the mall to people-watch is more enjoyable than going to the mall to browse for stuff. Name brands and trendy fashions haven't lured me (credit/blame goes to my mother). I'm pretty much comfort over trendy. I have to live in my clothes. Being uncomfortable makes me even more self-conscious so...for years I've lived in sweats, corduroys, hoodies and t-shirts. And life has been accomodating, no posh office job to correct my fashion nonsense.

The same sort of logic, comfort over style goes for my shoe choice. These were bought on one of the few days when I actually bought more than candy at the mall. They are from Skechers. They are approaching 10 years old. They are tough. They taught me the importance of breaking in leather shoes before walking a mile in them. (I broke them in by walking a mile in them...) They are oh-so-comfortable now. I love them.

Bro2 (the brother youngest) got a new pair kicks and made a vlog about it. Vlogging is his art. It's really cool to watch his (self-taught) skills progress.

zephyr- trudging

One of these semesters is unlike the others. Must dig deep to find my resolve.

On I go.

I miss you.