Blurble 1.28

I saw a sign: Free North Korean Refugees in China. I don't understand this sign.

Switching from IE to Firefox made a difference with my PC. IE is increasingly becoming evil to me. I'm still a bit of a holdout though.

Really had to push myself today. This is a difference from where I was before, when I would have only wanted to wallow. I still consider sleeping away my problems. I know that won't work, but I consider it. I did manage to sand 10 blanks for magnets. Sanding takes sooo long because I do it by hand. But I put on some music and did it. I also typed up another piece I'd written, took some pictures of more destash stuff. (too much stuff) Today was somewhat productive.

Am currently watching The Complete Jane Austen on PBS. I'm getting a little love-storied out. It's not helping with my...situation. I need to watch Transformers. Haha.

Post Picture: Taken last fall. This was the final leaf on my neighbor's tree. Sometimes I feel like that leaf, clinging too hard, long after everyone else has let go, knowing I should...but very afraid to fall.

Wish- Finding Me

Wishes, really, just don't work for me. Still I try.

I wish, if upon buying those tickets, if they called my number, I'd get my wish. But that's a lot of ifs.

I wish I wasn't afraid. I wish I understood. I wish didn't care so much. I wish I wasn't so entangled. I wish I wasn't so conflicted. I wish I knew how to handle this like a normal girl. I wish I knew who to tell. I wish I knew where I stood. I wish this didn't take my breath away, make my head hurt, cause my stomach to flip, have my heart race. But that's a lot to wish.

So I linger here, between hither and yon, (No, I don't use 'yon' in normal speak. Archaic words get broken out when I write.) a little lost, off-balance, confused, prosing introspectively, a task I used to hate. Each day is a little new, but mostly the same. I get caught up, let down, smile knowingly, try to hide it. It's a fight everyday, for sanity, for guidance, for emotional equilibrium. And I long for peace, almost as much as I long...to see...

"Go with it," I hear. That's too vague a direction for analytical me, cautious me. I need more, crave more. Wish.

Post Picture: Courtesy of thecanster of Etsy. From her listing for Blue Wish Tickets

ThisNext find 1.24

I found this through ThisNext I'm not sure how true it is of my blog, but...hehe. So I checked out the site where it came from, Despair,Inc., and loved so much of it. It's perfect for my inner sarcastic kid. I'm not that far removed from my teen years. :P

So that's lookin' like it'll be my post for the day. I may work on functions, as in math, with my mom later. She was a math major so she understands these things. I can teach myself a lot, but math is NOT one of them. (via hwilson)

'Un' as in 'not'

I'm not very inspired in regards to a post. But I haven't written here in a few days. I check the blog everyday for comments and just to look at it. I really like it, now. But I just can't think of a coherent post topic. I have everything to say, but really it's best left unsaid. I think. So I talk to myself. I'm home pretty much all day so...*sigh*

Er, uh, hmm...sorry I just don't have anything. I've got random made up words running through my brain. 'Iggle' for example. Where they came from I have no idea. I want to watch American Idol but my dad has commandeered the one TV in the house. I'm the only AI fan, and I'm not even really a fan. Meh!

Post Picture: My hand, from my earlier fascination. I like it.

Sing with me

for Bro2
Originally uploaded by lpdesigns

Okay, not really. You don't have to.

Today is Bro2's birthday. He's 15. Eep! The picture is my gift to him, a little bit of handmade goodness. I really like that paper. So colorful. I wanted to get a pic before he tore into it. Traditionally we open birthday gifts around dinnertime. It does tend to promote procrastination. :P