autumn treasure

I've been told that the leaves don't change everywhere the way they do in New England. So a friend who is a New England native but is currently on scholarship overseas I went to our neighborhood park and took some photos. It felt good to have the camera in my hands again. I'd missed it.

breathe 10.20

I've been a crafter that
doesn't craft.
I've been a writer that
doesn't write.
I've been a photographer that
doesn't photograph.

I've been disconnected from myself, not listening to my heart's desire. I've been claiming labels that I didn't live up to. It hadn't been worth the bother...or so it seemed. I'd fallen off in a subtle way, a tragic way. I was disappearing into myself. I wasn't happy.

I'm coming back. I'm starting over. I'm making the effort. I'm learning to live unafraid. I'm learning to embrace the things that I have to do even if no one else ever appreciates them.

To keep this from being all sort of psycho-babble here real examples.
I took photos the other day. (evidence to be uploaded shortly, I hope)
I started a short story that I don't know the ending of. I'm letting that be okay.
I kept walking, running, exercising.
I began voicing my thoughts a little more in my classes. It was strange to hear my voice at first. But it is good.
When I get home I plan to knit and quill a little.
I starting to see myself not as 'less-than' (for reasons I won't bother getting into now) and rather remarkably free. With help I can do anything. I can do anything.

I'm starting to believe.

October

October smells like fall.
Crayons smell like school.
I am there
and here.
Breathing.