wb- heartbreak

Yesterday, my mom lost her best friend. It's hit us all pretty hard. There was no long sickness. She'd had surgery and then lots of complications but none of them particularly threatening until about Thursday night. She had gotten an infection. Mom went out to Illinois where the friend lived. Yesterday she died. For the first time in my life I saw my dad cry. This was a special lady.

It's lead to a lot of thought. We had been praying for her to get well since August, when she had the surgery and didn't heal as quickly as we had hoped. My heart breaks for her family, her husband and two daughters who were like an uncle and cousins to me.

I kept rolling the words around in my head. That she'd died. But I just couldn't make them make sense. It wasn't right. She couldn't be dead. We were supposed to have Thanksgiving together. I erased that off the calendar yesterday. So Mom wouldn't have to see it when she comes home. So that I wouldn't have to see it and be reminded that it would never happen, could never happen.

It's impossible to figure out why. She had so much she wanted to do, so much to live for. We believe she's in a better place now where all her health problems are now more but it hurts. I want to be with my mom and my IL family. But I'm here in CT.

Death is so permanent. So final. But I believe love can conquer for as hokey as that sounds. That this dear lady's memory will live on through each person she touched. I wish I could have the sense of purpose that I had now...7 years ago. There were projects I started that she encouraged me to finish and now...she's gone. Gone. It will take a while for all of us to adjust, to figure out how to incorporate this pain into our lives. She's missed already.

Post Picture:Our families sharing Father's Day in 2008.